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A New Entry! Spring Break, Strip Club, Cleaning et
Thursday. 3.17.05 8:29 pm
Hmm...well i guess i haven't updated in quite a while...i just figured there wasn't much to update about...the same old crap you know?...i usually just complain a bunch about stupid things too...but hey, why not make a new entry anyways, right?

Well i was wanting to wake up at 1 pm today...that didn't happen...because i stayed up so late i woke up around 4:30 pm...insane huh?...i wake up to every single alarm, shut them off, and go back to sleep...why? because theres no reason for me to be up...there really isn't much for me to do (well there is, but i'm just procrastinating on that)

Today was a cleaning and organizing day...oh yes, big time...see i like things clean and organized...its nice...makes things less stressful on me (not that theres much for me to stress over but still, little things help)...so i organized tons of things in my room and i cleaned...i didn't vacuum (i'll get to that tomorrow...well, maybe)...but i did dust!...i know, you're thinking "holy shit! has he ever done that before!?"...which you might be right lol...i don't dust...i clean the tv and computer screens, thats about it...but today i really dusted...everything electronic, furniture, pictures, remotes, the cat, things on top of furniture...okay, not the cat...he just observed...but the whole nine yards here...i dusted the fan too...oh man was that horrible...you would not believe the amount of crap that can get stuck to a fan...horrible...i also got rid of that smashed spider thats been on the ceiling since november

Everything looks great though...organizing wise that was mostly the cabinet above my desk...the only things i keep in there are CD cases and my Live Shit Binge & Purge Metallica box set...my 485 or so CD cases were out of order and have been for mehh 5 months or so...thats been bugging me...so i put them in order...(how? oh i've been keeping a list of CD's for the past 8 years...its in chronological order)...i organized stuff in my desk...stuff in my night stand...things like that...put some CD's back into my CD cases...oh its so nice...every single one of my 801 CD's are accounted for, neatly put into my four 200 capacity CD cases, and they're zipped up and stacked right next to my desk...the 1 CD thats not in my cases is a rare sealed Creed CD...first CD they put out, on Blue Collar Records...i'd love to hear how different the songs are but i just can't make myself open it...everything looks nice though

Most importantly, i took the trash out...it had a really nasty smell...a combination of ranch dip and taco bell kinda smell...quite disgusting...i have no idea how it got the ranch dip smell but i did have some taco bell the other night...okay onto other things...my room does look nice though!

Spring Break
Well i usually don't do much on spring break as it is...mostly i've just been sitting on my ass...been hanging out with some friends...playing Gran Turismo 4 a lot!...i love that game...theres only two games out there that i will pay full price for (that being $50)...those are Madden NFL games, and Gran Turismo games...why? because they're the two best games in the world!...everything else i'll buy when it gets below $40 or usually below $30...but yeah, haven't done much

Week before Spring Break
the week before spring break took a lot out of me...i had some tests...two papers to do...over 350 pages of a book to read...homework...it was insane...i literally averaged 2-3 hours of sleep a night...so if you didn't talk to me much that week, that was why...major pain in my ass but most importantly, i got everything done...i love how professors just decide to give you a bunch of shit right before a holiday or break...i'm telling you, by thursday, i felt like death...i was a walking zombie...so even though i haven't done shit on spring break, it feels great...i can sleep, not worry about anything, just relax

During Spring Break
There are some things i should do with the rest of my free time...and i'll probably get started on all of that tomorrow...i got accepted to Baylor, UIW, and Sam Houston...haven't heard from UT yet...so i really need to look into prices...pros and cons of each...i need to do the FAFSA thing...and i really need to do some homework...although i could easily put that off until starting monday and still get everything done (yeah that'll most likely happen)

With Baylor, i mean its a great university...i'm surprised i got accepted there...it would look great on a resume and i'd get a great education...pretty much the same thing with UT except i haven't heard from them yet...UIW is a private college...it looks beautiful and i'm sure i'd get a great education from there...plus i'd get an apartment with pete if i went there...they also offered me a $4,000 a year scholarship because my GPA is a 3.43...with Sam Houston, the prices i've seen so far look actually really good...plus its only 45 minutes away from where i live...i could just live with the parents (although they drive me nuts, that would save me a great deal of money)...so lots of decisions there...either way i'm sure i'd have to get loans and financial aid...its all good though

The Other Day
I went shopping with Pete, Ashley, and Jenna the other day...bought a couple shirts...see usually i just get shirts from people for christmas so i wear those...which they just happen to be West Point shirts, Broncos shirts, and shirts that just have stupid stuff on them like "starter"...which it doesn't bother me at all...but i bought a couple nice shirts...stripes on them, collar, buttons...they look nice...i'll probably go buy some more when i have the money...maybe another pair of shorts too...another pair of jeans...i also need to get a new watch...or have this one fixed...the problem with it was the battery but for some reason i can't change anything on the digital part anymore

When it comes to sports i've just been looking up football news on free agency...trades, releases, signings, retires...things like that...i really should start getting into another sport...basketball probably being high up there on the list...maybe baseball...basketball is a little more entertaining...the only thing with getting into a new sport is you gotta know all the statistics...what are good numbers, what are bad numbers...you gotta know what players are good, what players have potential...the new rookies...things of that sort...the best way to probably get into something like that is playing fantasy basketball or fantasy baseball...kinda forces you to get to know these things...in order for your team to do well, you need to know all aspects of the game...so i'll probably do that...another thing would be, what team would i go for?...with basketball i think jessica mentioned the spurs...the denver nuggets sucked for a long time there, probably still do so i probably wouldn't go for them...at one time i liked the sonics...but the spurs would probably be a good choice...with baseball theres the astros...i did like the rockies at one time...in fact i'd probably stick with them...i've been to several of their games anyways...including in their first year...the third possible sport would be Nascar...which wouldn't be bad...its just even though i'm a guy, i really don't know shit about cars first of all and second of all, thats the kind of sport i know the least about in terms of statistics, who's good, who's not, etc etc...so probably basketball...i know a lot of people just get into the NCAA basketball thing but its a pain in the ass trying to figure out players that way because a great deal of them change every year...same with NCAA football...with that i usually just get a couple draft magazines and see what the rookie class for NFL is gonna be...beyond that i don't pay much attention...besides, usually NCAA football is going on when the NFL is going on...right after pro football i go to the NHL...after the NHL i'm just suckin...so probably NBA...spurs...i could do that

Yesterday was a little interesting...i woke up around 2:30 pm with my mom yelling and banging on my door cuz she was pissed at my dad...she wanted me to pick my dad up at the car dealership cuz he was getting some work done on his truck and wanted to go home...so i go there and my dad's like "hmm well i didn't know it would take you this long to get here so do you just wanna get something to drink?" and i was like "sure" figuring we'd go to like Whataburger or something and grab a soda...so he pulls into this place called St. James and i'm thinking "hmm i think i know what this is but please tell me i'm wrong"...and my dad's like "i've been meaning to take you here for lunch for a while now"...you know what it is? its a strip club...i just could not believe it...i felt embarrassed...then he had us sit in the very front by the main stage part...just wasn't good for kollin...if you know me, you know i don't like being in public whatsoever...but kollin at a strip club? just can't picture that...and like one of the dancers got like right in front of me doing her thing and she said hi and all that and my dads like "hmm i think she likes you"...just about killed me...i'm just not the kind of person that would go to places like that...i mean yeah, i'm a guy, i enjoyed the scenery but still...i guess i wasn't as embarrassed as i thought i would be but i still was...probably because the alcohol loosened me up a bit haha...but driving all the way down to the dealership, all the way back, then driving to boston market to get food, driving all the way back, then driving all the way to ashleys, driving all the way back...i think i spent half the day in my car...oh and i went to the gas station...twice...once because i didn't have my gas card so i put $10 worth in there...then i went there again having the gas card...crazyness...and although i knew everyone at ashley's, there were 4 other people...i know everyone jumps on me for not talking much but more people, no matter how well i know everyone, means less talking from me...but overall, that was an interesting day i suppose

I went to the doctors the other day and last time i was there i weighed about 185 lbs but when i was there the other day i weighed about 170 lbs...so i guess i've lost around 15 pounds in the last like 2ish months...eating healthy does that to you i guess haha...i could feel it though...like my pants don't fit me that well anymore...so i have to wear a belt with everything...when i get some money i'm gonna go get a couple pairs of shorts and pants along with new shirts...crazy though...it takes me forever to put on a couple pounds but it takes me 2 months to lose 15...usually with me its like i can eat tons of food, healthy or not, and barely gain any weight...but i start eating healthy and i lose 15 pounds...weird...but good i spose...now if only i could push myself to work out...i'll go buy some weights, maybe do some stuff by myself...i dunno if i can handle working out with other people around...i didn't enjoy it one bit when i was in football...we shall see

Anything Else?
Beyond all of that stuff there really isn't anything going on with me...in terms of stress and such, there is one thing but i'm not gonna be open with it on here and chances are i'm not gonna be open with it with any of you guys...usually when things are bothering me, especially lately, i don't feel like discussing them...i guess i just feel like i probably already know the answer to my problems and people probably aren't going to make me feel better about them...its like, i know what the problem is, i know how to fix it, or know ways of fixing it, i just can't push myself to fix it...probably doesn't make sense but there you go

Addition to the Entry
Its quite late but i was laying in bed thinking like i usually do and came to this conclusion: i bitch about my looks fairly often so why not improve that for myself?...i mean it really doesn't matter what other people think but if i improved these things, it would make myself feel better...i'm not talking about big improvements, just little things...i'm not out to impress anybody...but i do want to look decent at least so i can get to the point where i can look in the mirror and say "you know, i look pretty good today"...lets think about it...i have some money coming to me (late birthday gift) so i'll use that to improve things some...i do have a few pairs of decent jeans and shorts...maybe get some more of those...the two shirts i have look good, maybe get a couple of those...i do need new socks (they're a little longer than people wear, but i live in texas now so there really isn't a need for those)...so theres the clothing...i've already been working on eating right and i've lost 15 pounds...like pete said, i could buy some weights, do some excerises...improve that...i'm not too impressed with my hair but it does look better...so i should cut back on wearing the hat...i shave like once every 1-2 weeks so i should shave more often...i don't really put cologne on unless its for a certain occassion but why not start putting some on?...all of these things are very doable and wouldn't require too much out of me...i'm not totally satisfied with the way i look so i should change it...theres a few others too but i do things to improve those as well...and i'm on the right track with that...buying new clothes, getting the hair cut, losing weight...i'll take it to the next step...if i can do these things, i'll feel much better about myself, and i think it'll give me more confidence in myself...i don't mean to sound selfish or anything but i just sat there thinking "it feels like i'm doing all of this to impress others...to look better for others...although thats fine and dandy, i should be looking at this as trying to look better for myself"...and really thinking that way is more motivation for me to do these things...other than the fact that i'm really shy, my looks is the one thing i don't particularly like about myself...because i know i'm overall a good person...i know i treat others with respect, i know i have a good sense of humor, i know i have morals, i know i'm pretty intelligent etc...if i do these few things and make myself look better, it'll make me feel better about myself and it'll give me more confidence...thats whats been holding me back...i haven't been putting in any effort to change the way i look and that makes me think "wow i'm ugly" which turns into "i'm not worth anybodys time" which makes me hide in my little shell not saying a damn thing...i know i have a lot to offer on the inside, if i can make the outside look better, i'll feel that much better and it'll get me out of my "little shell"...not that i really truly believe in this saying but have you ever heard that saying (and i'm trying to think of the exact wording but oh well) "you can't really love others until you love yourself"?...if i can be happy with myself then it'll improve things with other people...i've already put in an effort to eat right, to buy some decent clothes, get contacts insead of glasses, feel better about myself on the inside, things like that...i just need to keep going and like i said, its very doable...people are always saying i'm so hard on myself...well i'm hard on myself because i don't like myself...i'm not happy with myself...so why don't i change things to make me happy with myself?...i think i'll do just that

Well thats pretty much it...probably the next few days i'll look stuff up for college, make my decision on which one i want to go to, then maybe do some homework...throw in a couple hours of GT4, some TV watching, a little bit of hanging out with friends and thats the next 3 days then its back to crappy classes again...i already have projects i need to do for some classes...oh well...probably not the best entry but hey, its an entry!...talk to you people later, hope everythings going well

Damn I always forget all the stuff I was gunna comment on by the time i finnish reading your entries! Anyways, yeah that week before spring break was horrible... and spring break isn't so great either. I just can't picture you at a strip club... and you know... that's a good thing haha. Congrats on the weight loss though, that is awsome!
» Zig_Justice on 2005-03-18 03:17:47

OMG! Your dad took you to strip club?? LOL...if my mum took me to a strip club with half naked guys doing their thing, I'd DIE. UGH, some things just SHOULD NOT be done with parents, ewww! Anyway, good on you for wanting to make yourself feel good about your looks, alot of guys don't care.We were talking bout self-image in this lecture the other day, an just about every girl raised their and when asked if we care about self-image, and most of the guys were like "pssssh" when they were asked, so good on ya. But you're gonna have days when you just can' be bothered though, they suck, cos you know that you look like shit, but you just can't be bothered to do anything about it. Those days suck. Anyway, lucky you, I have a ton of essays and assignments due soon, waaaah, and I haven't started any of them.
» ( on 2005-03-18 07:10:59

Ugh *and *hand *can't
» ( on 2005-03-18 07:12:17

haha strip club...wow...i wish i had that many cds
» nrtnSCorporate on 2005-03-18 12:40:57

the strip club almost killed me..omg..lol.
» IAMSAM77 on 2005-03-22 10:38:27

Yay for getting into all those colleges!
*A week later* Man, organization takes so much effort! And, as everyone else did, I found the stipper part particularly funny. And I was going to say something else, but I forgot.
» ladyeyeliner on 2005-03-23 11:54:46

I can't stop laughing. Strip club with your pop. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
» lenas_life on 2005-03-27 10:44:49

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» Marcus ( on 2010-09-04 05:17:58



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