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My Night...Examples of me being a Dumbass
Saturday. 1.29.05 11:02 am
Introduction
So i go from 3 hours of sleep to 5 hours of sleep to 7 hours of sleep to 0 hours of sleep to 14 hours of sleep to 0 hours of sleep again...that was my week there...can we say inconsistent?...next week, we need to make this consistent...that is my goal for next week...ranging between 6 and 8 hours during the week and 8 and 10 hours during the weekend...yes, i need to do that...any of you who know me or IM me out of the blue, make sure i do this from now on!

What I Did Tonightish
Okay so i woke up at 7 pm from my 14 hours of sleep...then i went and got pizza...came home and ate the pizza...the bastards at Pizza Hut gave me thin crust instead of pan crust...god i hate that...their crust is why i fucking ordered from there in the first place!!!!...if i wanted different crust i would have gotten it from papa johns you assholes!!!...okay moving on...then i went over to pete and ashleys to watch Cowboy Bebop the movie...and jenna was there...Jenna is so funny...i just can't believe the things she says sometimes but really funny...so random too...but yeah, i enjoyed being over there...and the movie was alright...i like the episodes way better...the movie was like one long episode...but it kinda dragged on and there were boring parts in it...so i wasn't impressed...now personally, i really like the episodes and i'm not a cartoon/anime kinda guy...i'd consider getting the comeplete season...after that i drove home...i ran a red light...theres a light thats a real pain in the ass at like 1 or 2 in the morning...if you're the only one there, that light is not going to change...you have to wait until someone coming from another direction stops at the light...so i was like "you know what, fuck it, i see no cameras to give me a ticket so just fuck it" and ran the red light...got home and my mom wanted me to download a couple things that take like 3 hours to download...but i did it and me and her had a really long conversation about several issues while it was downloading...after that i got myself some food and went on aim...talked to some people, listened to music, went on webcam for samanthe for a short time, commented on like 20 people's nutang entries, and here i am...by the way, if i commented on your nutang entry and you don't know me, i probably don't know you either but feel free to comment on my shit...and i can be so weird on my webcam...i make faces, act like i'm some gangster, do the whole alien in my chest thing, dance like a moron...i do all kinds of things on there...i dunno, its like, i can't see or hear you, all i see is me...so i'm gonna act like an idiot and do weird things...its quite entertaining if you get the chance to see me on there...but of course i haven't shaved in like a week and a half two weeks and i haven't had a hair cut in god knows when...so after commenting on everyones entries i decided to make an entry myself...i know kat has been bugging the hell out of me to do it...i think after my dog died the only thoughts in my head were depressing...hence my last two entries...trust me, you don't wanna read whats in my last entry...i was extremely depressed from my dog being dead and it snow balled into the whole life sucks i wanna die thing...alright moving on

Dumbass
Okay so behind me on the other side is the light switch and switch for the fan...keep in my mind i'm lazy...it was hot as hell in my room and i really needed that fan to be on...so, since my chair has wheels, i wheeled over there partially...yes partially...and reached for the switch...rather than wheel myself a little closer, i tipped my chair some to reach further...i'm almost to that switch...almost...a little further...OH SHIT...started to fall...my hand hits the wall and i'm stuck...if i let go, i fall to the ground...now, what a dumbass i am...i could have gotten up and done this in way less time...or i could have wheeled myself over there closer...no sir, i wheeled half way and tipped and failed in my mission...so i gotta do something here...i try to press against the wall and get up at the same time...it kinda worked...the chair went crashing to the ground and i almost fell on my ass but i caught myself...turned the lil switch on...picked up the chair, sat in it, and wheeled my happy ass back to where i was...hey dumbass, you just exerted more energy by doing that than you would have by just getting up and turning it on...wow...i'm lazy and i'm an idiot...i amaze myself sometimes

Dumbass even more
I do that kinda shit all the time to myself...like getting groceries out of the car to put in the house...okay, the more bags i carry, the less trips i take...so i take a shitload of bags at one time...what happens? not only does the circulation in my hands get temporarily cut off but somewhere in my journy from the car to the house one single bag will either split or fall or both...what do i do? try to pick it up and go forward...what happens when i go for it? more shit either splits or falls or both...so in the time i could have done like three trips, i'm using that time to collect all the crap thats laying out on the ground just to make that one trip...it happens every time and i'm not gonna learn from it at any point...another example is when i'm taking food, drinks, and utensils into my room for dinner...i'll grap the cup, soda, plate or plates of food, utensils and napkin...usually i can make it but 20% of the time i'm unsuccessful...i'm like "alright one trip, easy to do, lets go for it"...usually i end up balancing something on my arms and having it lean some against my body...not good with me...something will end up on the floor...if its utensils or the soda or the cup, i'll try to pick it up right then and go forward...and yes what does this result in? something else dropping...and in the time it takes to do two or three trips, i end up wasting my time cleaning up food or trying to gather things up to make that one trip into the bedroom...you dumbass!...i'm always doing this...why do i never learn!!!!

Biggest Dumbass Ever
I remember this one time i actually made it into my room with all of this food and plates and stuff...so i go close the door and i'm wanting to turn the fan on...rather than put everything down and flip the switch, i try doing it holding all of this crap in my hands...i go to flip the switch and somehow my plate of food starts to fall...so i try to save it from hitting the floor...how? but shoving the plate of food into the wall...great job moron...i think it was like spaghetti too...something thats really messy too...oh dumbasssss, why didn't you just put it all down and go for the switch afterwardssssss...ugh so in the time it would have taken to make that lil tiny trip to the switch, i spent even more time cleaning my dinner off of the wall...whats even more embarrassing about this is that i was too lazy to go back into the kitchen and get another plate of food...so i just scraped off some of the top and ate it lol (90% of you are secretly thinking "ewwwww")

Dumbass with Food
I love food...theres only one problem i have with food...heartburn...not a mild case of it either...in fact, an extreme case of it...heartburn is as part of my daily routine as peeing when i first wake up (i know, wasn't that a great analogy?)...so what are the last 3 means i've eaten? Pizza, chili, and hamburgers with onion rings...let me tell you this...my insides are being burned alive...the devil has lighted every part of the inside of my chest and stomach on fire and is not letting up...a volcano has violently erupted inside of me...the acid is eating away at every part of my middle section...NOT - GOOD...another dumbass moment for me on a lesser scale (or grander, however you take it)...Pizza = Inner Volcano...why i don't see this when i order it, i dunno

Dumbass in the Shower
So i'm in the shower half awake...i'm doing my normal routine...wash here, wash there blah blah blah...half way through my routine of using the soap all over the body, my eye itches...i'm like 20% awake over here...my hands are covered in soap...my instant reaction is "rub your eye!"...so with my soap filled hands i rub my eye...at first its like "ahh thats relieving"...then it hits me...extreme stinging pain in my eye from the soap...whats my instant reaction to that?..."HOLY SHIT!!! OWWW SON OF A BITCH!!!" and me frantically trying to get the soap out...i'm like grabbing for the showerhead, pulling my eye lids wide open and trying to get the soap out while screaming for my life...it never washes out right away (yes i know that from experience) so for like 10 minutes i'm in the shower screaming "HOLY SHIT" and "OH MY FUCKING GOD" a billion times over as if that'll help the situation...i'll tell you what, if anything, i was certainly awake at that point...hey dumbass, you might wanna wash the soap off of your hands before you rub your eyes

Dumbass with his Car
So pretty much everyone now has one of those car remote things that unlocks and locks your car from a certain distant...well mine hasn't been working all that well lately so sometimes it takes a little while to get it to work...so the other day i'm at the college about to go home...i start pressing the unlock button a billion times before i actually get to the car...i finally get to the car and i'm still pressing it...rather than put the key into it, turn it, unlock it, and being on my way, i stand there for like 5 minutes pressing the unlock button and waving my arm around trying to find a good position...5 minutes!!!...so i'm like pointing it in the back of the car...trying different angles on the sides...the thing still won't work!!!...finally i angled it just right on the side that it unlocked...uhm, hey dumbass, rather than well, look like a dumbass, why don't you just use the key to unlock the door? ah yes, good idea, you friggin moron

Dumbass with the TV
So especially with me, i somehow manage to lose the remote 3+ times a day...i'll usually find it within a minute or two but still gotta have the remote...the other day i come into the living room and forget where i had put the remote...i wanted to watch something...so i search over here, i search over there...soon i've searched every place it could be...so i'm digging into chairs, throwing pillows across the room, searching under things...couple minutes go by...i'm panicing like crazy cuz i haven't found the damn thing yet...i'm yelling "god damnit!!! wheres the remote!!!! what the fuck happened to the remote!!!!!! whyyyy godddd!!!! i'll do anything just please give me the damn remote!!!!!"...somethin like that...after about 10 minutes of searching...i'm like breaking a sweat here...almost in tears cuz i can't find the damn thing...i look over and sitting on top of the coach is the remote...you can imagine how happy i was to see the thing...uhm hey dumbass, aren't you able to change the channels on the little box above the TV? oh and if that doesn't work, you friggin idiot, doesn't the remote in the other room work on this box too?

#1 Need
What i need is some kind of electronic device i can attach to say, my arm...before i make any kind of dumbass move, it'll shock me and say in a really annoying voice "HEY DUMBASS!! DON'T DO THAT!!"...we'll call it The Dumbass Alerter 2000...it'll shock you so badly that by the third shock in a day, it'll have you losing control of your bodily functions...it'll just keep increasing how badly the shock is every time...cuz i mean hey, thats more motivation to not be a dumbass...i need this...someone invent this for me...i'm not gonna do it cuz i'm too lazy but someone invent this for me

Madden(skip to the next section if you must)
okay well my mind kinda went blank so i'm gonna brag about how awesome i am at Madden NFL 2005 for a bit...i am the master at this game...i swear to god...i hardly ever do this but i decided to do the "fantasy draft" on the fanchise mode...which means all of the players are thrown into draft and with your salary cap in mind, you draft players based on your position...i had like the number 2 overall pick...anyways i ended up with the best team ever...i mostly focused on offensive line, a damn good running back, and an awesome defense...the key points here...speed and age...i want fast guys and i want young guys...thats what i got...at the QB position i drafted Big Ben...rookie from miami of ohio...79 overall but starting a rookie QB will boost that in no time...anyways, everyone on my team is young but at no position am i looking bad in any way...no starter was below (besides my QB of course) an 83 overall...thats damn good...and see throughout the season your players will get upgraded or downgraded depending...so at the end of the season Big Ben is an 89 overall and only 5 out of 45 players are below an 80...why? cuz we're talking about young guys here...they get upgraded a lot quicker...my team is friggin awesome...4 out of 5 of my WR's went over 1000 yards and 10 TDs, my TE got 1500 yards and 15 TD's, my QB got 71 TDs and over 6000 yards, my RB got 1300 yards and 15 TDs...my defense was awesome too...like 30 overall sacks...like 15 or so INTs...even my KR was a badass...but yeah, this is all on All Pro level...second to highest...aparently my brother hasn't even won a super bowl on All Pro level and he's really good at this game...i've won it several times...why? cuz i'm that damn good...i'd move it to All Madden, highest level, but i just love crushing teams 50 to 20 and breaking all kinds of records...but that is next thing to do...i'll probably get so pissed at the ps2 for cheating me that i'll go insane...cuz thats what happens when you go to all madden...your receivers can't catch worth a damn, your running back can't break any tackles, your offensive line plays like ass, your QB can't throw worth a damn, your defense can't stop anything...at least make it realistic if you're gonna fuck me that much...but yeah i guess i'll give it a go once more

Football Predictions (skip to the next section if you must)
Well i thought i would get this out of the way for all of you...i know you all just absolutely love this part of my entries

Super Bowl XXXIX
New England Patriots VS Philadelphia Eagles

Now this is a matchup i like...two teams who most certainly deserve to be there...Pats have been to 3 of the last 4 super bowls including this one...Eagles have been to the last 4 consecutive NFC championships...tell me this ain't damn good...i've been waiting for this match up for 4 years now...so i'm pleased to see this.

There is no one individual on the Pats this is amazing...no sir...but put all of them on one team and that team is amazing...why? because of the coaching and game planning behind this team...how else can a dynasty happen in the salary cap era?...thats right, you'd have to have a genius as a coach and the Pats do...the one thing they know how to do is win...on offense, just do like you always do...run the ball with dillon, throw it up downfield to the WR's but watch out for the DB's cuz they're pro bowlers...on defense they need to shut down RB Westbrook and QB McNabb...you shut those two down, you got it made...shutting down the RB would force McNabb to throw to his WR's...if Owens plays, double team him and make sure you have a firm grip on what the other WR's are doing...if not, even better for the Pats

In the salary cap era its extremely hard to have winning season after winning season...after winning the super bowl in 1998, the broncos had their first losing season in several years...after the Bucs and Raiders duked it out, both suffered losing seasons the year afterwards...you slowly build up a team to reach the super bowl then the season afterwards it all falls apart and you have to rebuild...with the Eagles and Pats, they've been able to keep their key players, add some more key players, and be consistent winning teams...the eagles are also very well coached...on offense they need to rely on McNabb, Westbrook, and Owens if available...those three guys can do some serious damage...on defense they need to focus on Brady and Dillon...if you can confuse Brady and shut down Dillon, you've got it made

Both of these teams are fantastic teams...and like i said, i've been waiting a while for this matchup and finally its here...i wish i didn't have to pick one but i spose i will...I think the Pats have the upper hand here...they have a slightly better coaching staff and a slightly better team...they know how to win and they know how to use every player to their advantage...the Eagles are great, don't get me wrong, but they're not as good as the Pats....My Pick: Pats 27 Eagles 20

The Battle Between Man and Beast
The man of course being me...the vicious beast being Snowplow...the cat...every time i go into the living room and sit down to watch TV, Snowplow follows...sitting next my chair...waiting to be fucked with...he absolutely loves it...so i'll attack him, throw him to the ground, mess up his hair...then i'll grab his legs real quick, then scoop him a little with my other hand...this drives him nuts...we'll go for hours doing this...he'll try to scratch me but he hardly ever gets me...then he gets so frustrated that he hisses...i'll pet him and tell him he's a good cat which manages to piss him off even more...but see heres the thing, the absolutely loves it when i fuck with him like this...on sundays during football, when i watch it for like 8 hours in a row, we'll go that whole time playing that, in between plays of course...we'll take breaks, he'll jump on me and take a short nap...then i'll throw him off and fuck with him again...ahh what a great relationship...vicious lil beast he is though...got me 6 times today...i'm a little rusty and he took advantage.

College
Well i got accepted to Sam Houston State University today...thats one of the colleges i'm considering transfering to...i wasn't too terribly impressed with it but it was still nice...i wouldn't mind going there...and they're building a lot so i'm sure that'll improve things...we'll see...i haven't finished my applications for the other two universities...Baylor and University of Texas at Austin...theres good things about all three...i was worried i wouldn't get accepted to any of them...funny thing is, i got SHSU's application done and turned in like mid last week...they sure were quick about accepting me...its nice to know at least one of my choices accepted me...we shall see

Conclusion
I think i'm going to go put the fire out in my system and try to find something to eat...i hope you enjoyed my entry...hopefully it was at least somewhat humorous in parts and entertaining...have a good day everyone
33 Comments.


wow
that is a looong ass entry! ahha so i only read a few parts. sucks about the pizza crust! pizza crust is the best part of a pizza! at least to me. and thanks for the comment! i kno, i was pretty surprised. but i guess us being the first graduating class of my school kinda helped. haha. i shure hope i passed my math test!
» your_punkrock_princess on 2005-01-29 01:31:49

whoa
you write a lot. i didn't read the whole thing. you're funny. :)
» amy on 2005-01-29 01:46:26

I, on the other hand...
... managed to read it all! I rock! TY for the comment you left me... it's been a while since anyone checked me out... LOL
» LittleBrit on 2005-01-29 03:27:01

yea i didnt read it at all..but 'm sure your day was exciting
» nrtnSCorporate on 2005-01-29 03:32:35

haha holy shit you crack me up... and i dont think ur a jackass....
» Ikka355 on 2005-01-29 03:50:48

thank you
thanks for the comment! it made me happy! haha well keep checking back- it MIGHT acctually get interesting! haha
» LGLP24 on 2005-01-29 04:17:02

whoop!
it's hard being a patriots fan in the middle of western PA... I get beat down by the crazzy Steeler's fans... however last week they were able to cry as Ben just wasn't up to snuff n the pats dominated. I'm def looking foward to the Superbowl. catch u later.
» meggyo on 2005-01-29 04:36:57

Dumbass in the Shower haha nice sub title... kollin... seriously stop being lazy... and stop eating bad things... and you'll be fine. Anyways, yeah i liked the series better than the movie too... but i liked the fight scenes in the movie alot...
» Zig_Justice on 2005-01-29 04:41:23

heeey
heey Cole, LOL, your entries get funnier and funnier, this one still doesn't beat the one about your personal "style" though, that was a classic...this one had me laaaughing for ages though.
» KatnicityAnnToTheMax on 2005-01-29 05:23:22

welp me and jess have decided your one of the crew now i think since you've basically commented on everyones page from troy...haha its all good
» nrtnSCorporate on 2005-01-29 08:17:46

wow! that was the longest entry i've ever seen in my life and from reading all these other comments.. you probably already knew that. But anyways.. your dumbass stories remind me of myself sometimes. Thanks for my comment.. you're pretty funny. -Beej
» BeeJay on 2005-01-29 09:45:30

heh. i keep my entries private because it's just thoughts in my random head.. you can go to my OTHER site.. dis1girl. thanks though =]
» rand0mness on 2005-01-29 09:49:06

Holy Shit... I think you might have beat me... Your entry is prolly longer... lol..
» Molls on 2005-01-29 10:12:26

OMG
I did read it all and laughed my ass off TEX. I can just imagine you doing all of that. I needed the laugh though THANKS.
» IAMSAM77 on 2005-01-30 02:42:00

you think your lazy!!!
i live in the4 basement where it gets sooo cold, yea, i ahve a vent right by my feet, that i could open up, but im too lazy. its right by my toes and im sooo cold, i could get socks, shoes, put on my coat thats 3 ft away, but it all doesnt make sense to move that much! anyway, yea i ahve a lot of the similar shit happenni to me too. my dog died recently, put to sleep actually. and due, how long did it take to write this, dam, its longer than any of my papers due in school!!! anyway, not a bad lookin page either, ive been playing around with mine cuz xanga is pissing me off!

cheesefileld crust = the best
» Color_Blinde on 2005-01-30 11:10:15

creepy
i was just looking at your nutang thingy, and then i decided to check out my nutang and here was your comment.... really creepy ok um yeah nice talking to ya Hit me bak sometime Kelly bob
» paranoidwithlife (68.106.116.34) on 2005-01-30 03:20:52

oh
nice nice
» AustinSoty on 2005-01-30 04:28:14

mann
that was a long ass entry. you get heartburn? mann that sucks. lol congrats on getting accepted to college. I doubt I ever will get accepted to college. haha what a loser I am. = haha anyways, I found your entry entertainin in parts, so thats good =) good luck on the other college applications.
» Manda103 on 2005-01-31 11:29:36

Your entry inspired me to be less lazy lol. I started picking up things insted of just leaving them there for later. For me thats leaving hair products or bowls of cereal on my dresser lol. Crap like that. And pete is right; eat better, be less lazy.
» AshleyEverhart on 2005-01-31 11:39:30

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY KOLLIN
» IAMSAM77 on 2005-02-01 01:10:50

I'm simply commenting on my own entry because i'm comment greedy...21 comments...which as of today would be my age too...not that i'm proud of it or anything...thank you all for the comments...only half of my friends, if that, have commented on my entry here...i'll be pissed if i don't see improvement in the next day!!!
» Kollin6618 on 2005-02-01 01:18:13

HAOOY BIRTHDAY KOLLIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
uh huh uh huh... time for a new entry. The people demand it!
» Zig_Justice on 2005-02-01 05:45:58

edit: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KOLLIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
errrr damn spelling error above
» Zig_Justice on 2005-02-01 05:46:49

Happppppppppppppppppppyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy 21st Birthdayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Kollin, Yuh Horny and Korny Kornflakeeeeeee... Gawd yer getting Oldddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd... *smriks*
» PoooOooferssss (142.204.246.247) on 2005-02-01 01:41:54

lol pshh old whatever...25th comment by the way...i'm not making new entries until i see 50 comments!!!
» Kollin6618 on 2005-02-01 01:44:37

holy shit
you've got a lot of comments. so it's your 21st, you getting wasted?
» Chloefoxx on 2005-02-01 04:49:36

nah just had a couple of beers...i wasn't even carded when i ordered them at dinner...they always ask for my brothers I.D. when he orders a beer from anywhere yet i wasn't carded tonight...i was kinda wanting to prove i'm 21 lol...guess i didn't have to...but yeah, didn't get wasted, just had a couple beers
» Kollin6618 on 2005-02-01 09:30:23

yeah
thats cool.. i got like what.. 5 years til im 21.. woo
» AustinSoty on 2005-02-01 09:46:28

you should
mak a new entry though.. seriously man
» AustinSoty on 2005-02-01 09:46:49

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope all ur wishes come truu!! gosh, you're juss sucha nice ass awesome person =) xo
» Sha_Sha on 2005-02-02 12:08:38

well...
are you going to get wasted this weekend?? i'm not 21 until May, but I surely am excited!
» Chloefoxx on 2005-02-02 12:56:37

lol thank you sha sha...and no i'm not gonna get wasted this weekend...i really don't have that strong of a desire to drink
» Kollin6618 on 2005-02-02 01:24:05

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